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Lovecraftian Horrors - The terrifying true origins of the munchkin cat! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Lovecraftian Horrors

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The terrifying true origins of the munchkin cat! [May. 19th, 2006|04:18 pm]

necronomiphiles

[krieg_weasel]
[Current Mood |pouncy!]







If you are wondering what sort of a creature this is, please allow me to relate to you the true origins of the breed...




Despite what history books and cat manuals assert munchkin cats were a breed that resulted, not from an accidental mutation, but due to the maligned genetic manipulations of one of the disturbed and brilliant minds at my alma mater Miskatonic University. They were actually the result of an experiment conducted by Herbert West, a scientist immortalized as The Reanimator in a 'story' told by Lovecraft. During one of his less sane moments — and there were many of those let me tell you! — West concocted the idea of crossing undead 'zombie' kittens with the dreaded vampiric mustelid of Romania known as Vlad's blood weasel (Mustela erminea draculus) a lesser known subspecies of stoat.

Dr. West's notes indicate that he probably intended to create an undead army of blood-drinking war-weasels of "unusual size and ferocity" to unleash upon the unsuspecting citizenry of a town in Louisiana he particularly disliked. This is partially speculation however, because he was apparently so zoned-out on a batch of Al Azif cave-spider fungi that he had recently imported from Damascus that many of his notes in this time frame are wholly indecipherable. However, this does make sense in light of the fact that some fifty years later a particularly ferocious munchkin cat named "Blackberry" was found in the dark and eldritch Louisiana swamps. What the munchkin history books neglect to mention is that there has long been a thriving population of the breed on the Miskatonic campus grounds, living in the long-forgotten, cthonian tunnel systems that underlie the whole of the area. The many disappearances and exsanguinated corpses that have turned up over the years on campus were never blamed on that illustrious bloodline, mainly because they are all so gosh-darn cute!

Bear in mind that I can speak with authority on these matters as an inheritor of munchkin cat lore, particularly since I am the very munchkin cat pictured above!





Me in a GS cookie box. Don't ask what became of the girl scouts that delivered it...



Cleaning the blood, er, I mean 'cat food' off my paws...








LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: julilla1
2006-05-19 10:12 pm (UTC)
Why?! Why have you told our secret?! Damn you! er, I mean, meow.
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[User Picture]From: misslynx
2006-05-19 10:22 pm (UTC)
Sshhh... At least he didn't let on about our secret Ulthar heritage. Let's just keep that between us.
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[User Picture]From: julilla1
2006-05-19 10:57 pm (UTC)
So I can't talk about that unspeakably delicious Moon Toad face I had for dinner last night? Let me tell you, with a Saturn cat appetizer...indescribable! It's worth the jump to the moon, just for the novelty. Beats canned food like a redheaded step-child.
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[User Picture]From: lord_sauron
2006-05-19 11:20 pm (UTC)
Quiet!
Your murmerings are awakening the cattle, be SILENT!
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[User Picture]From: chaosalchemy
2006-05-20 12:41 am (UTC)
I would not say such things if I were you!
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[User Picture]From: gwferguson
2006-05-20 02:45 pm (UTC)


"Arise, furry brethren! The stars are right and the humans are beginning to suspect! LET US GO FORTH AND...is that a dangling string?"
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[User Picture]From: sepsis
2006-05-20 04:13 pm (UTC)
haha! Thats hilarious! :D
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[User Picture]From: krieg_weasel
2006-05-20 04:29 pm (UTC)


Haha!

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[User Picture]From: wtftastic
2006-05-26 02:32 pm (UTC)
The jokes on us when these evil kitties take over!
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